The Christmas Cards I Didn't Send: Why Presence Matters More Than Perfection

A Photographer Mom's Honest Take on Holiday Expectations and What Really Matters

I didn't get Christmas cards done this year.

As a photographer, that feels a little ironic.

As a mom with ADHD, it comes with the familiar guilt of knowing I care deeply and still can't do everything.

This photo was taken during a quiet afternoon spent doing a puzzle with my son. No checklist. No urgency. Just time.

Something had to give this season. And this is what I chose instead.

The Pressure of Holiday Perfection

Every December, the expectations pile up. Christmas cards. Perfect photos. Matching outfits. Coordinated family portraits sent to everyone you know before the holiday arrives.

For photographers especially, there's added pressure. You create beautiful images for other families. Surely your own holiday cards should be magazine-worthy, early, and flawless.

But here's what I've learned: perfection isn't the goal. Connection is.

The ADHD Mom Reality

Living with ADHD means caring deeply about everything while struggling to execute all of it. The intentions are there. The desire to create meaningful traditions, send thoughtful cards, capture perfect moments exists fully.

But executive function doesn't always cooperate. Time blindness makes deadlines slip. Decision fatigue makes choosing photos overwhelming. And the mental load of one more task, even a meaningful one, can be too much.

This isn't about not caring. It's about capacity.

For Parents Carrying Holiday Guilt

If you're carrying guilt for the things you didn't get to this season, especially the "shoulds," I hope this reminds you that presence counts too.

You didn't send Christmas cards? You were probably doing something more important.

You didn't get the perfect family photo? The imperfect moments likely mattered more.

You simplified traditions or skipped some altogether? That's not failure. That's boundary-setting.

The Gift of Letting Go

Letting go of the Christmas cards this year was a gift to myself and my family.

It freed up mental space. It removed one source of stress. It gave me back time and energy to invest in presence instead of presentation.

And my son got more of me. More attention. More unhurried time. More afternoons where I was fully there instead of mentally managing the next task.

That feels like the better choice.

For the Naperville and Chicago Families I Photograph

If you're one of the families I photographed this season for holiday cards or Christmas portraits, I'm honored. Creating those images for you was a privilege.

Your cards are beautiful. Your photos captured something meaningful. And I hope the process felt joyful rather than stressful.

But if you're also a parent who didn't quite get to everything you intended, please know: you're not alone. And you're doing better than you think.

The photos matter. But presence matters more.

A Reminder for All of Us

If you're carrying guilt about what you didn't do this holiday season, please hear this:

Presence counts. Being there, fully there, for the people you love matters more than any card or photo or perfectly executed tradition.

The people who love you aren't keeping score. They just want you. Present. Unhurried. Fully there.

That's enough. You're enough.